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Dealing with Sobriety

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Cface

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Jan 2, 2008
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For the past month and a half i've been living (fairly) sober thanks to my sister allowing me to move in with her from Texas to Florida.
Before i go on, here's a bit about my drug history:
I kicked a god-awful 4-6mg xanax/day, modest 60-70 5mg vicodin/month & 120mg oxymorphone/month, quarter-oz pot/week, and a 2gr meth/month habit cold turkey on the two day drive to Florida, not without having a seizure in a parking lot at a Waffle House on the way there of course.
After dealing with all the physical and strong (suicidal) mental withdrawals from my drug use, xanax being the sneaky fuck, and feeling normal again, I'm left facing the the thing i hate the most; being sober.

Now what I'm trying to figure out, from my fellow drug-seeking BLers, is how the hell do you deal with sobriety, what exactly are you doing to help keep your mind at ease from all the "evil" drug thoughts bringing you back? I've been having a lot of trouble dealing with meth and xanax cravings, i'm obsessing over the ritual of smoking speed and taking xanax to sleep (and relax). And due to boredom and these cravings I've been doing a lot of drinking, which is something i never liked or did.:|

I'm sorry about the drawn-out post, but maybe someone out there can feel me on this and give me a hand. I'm losing my damn mind!
 
^That, being active really helps. Finding out ways to have a good time without drugs seems to be the most important thing I've noticed, keeping busy and being occupied just doesn't give you enough time to do them anyway.

However, you had a sober mind before you did drugs. Now, the temptation is there because you've known what it's like to have chemicals in you- but still, there was a reason you felt the urge to stop. There was reason that made you kick your habit right? Don't fall back on yourself now.

And don't be afraid to reach out for assistance (like you're currently doing :D )
 
Cface, I hear you for sure. I discovered that I'm more of an adrenaline/rush junkie than anything else. Just the feeling of being high on whatever, satisfies some craving in my crazy head. Weird as it sounds, I've also really been into working out/lifting weights since I was 16(24 now)

I've discovered that if I'm not 100% dedicated to working out( having a very specific diet and being VERY committed) I'm very tempted to want to drink or do some type of drug. It's almost like I am unable to have a normal life without some type of endorphin or dopamine releasing activity.

Now I know not everybody is into, or enjoys physical fitness; hell, you may hate it, but like somebody mentioned, it's an idea to try. Who knows, you may find you really love it once you get comfortable doing it, and are not intimidated by the idea of first starting out. Maybe read up on different diets, workouts, etc.

Sorry if this is just totally not up your alley, but good luck with the sobriety! :)
 
^^Hey man i'm exactly like that. I used to exercise a lot when i didn't have drugs. When i had them (which was more than not) i didn't exercise at all. I've been trying to figure out why my mind's so drug-dependent for entertainment, why other folks can have fun doing the simple things yet i gotta do the simple things and be high to be able to get the same level of pleasure. I was beginning to think that my [uncomfirmed] ADD paid tribute to my drug-seeking behavior. I've noticed since i quit drugs i'm having a lot more trouble paying attention to conversations and staying on topic. Working out, watching tv, playing video games, are all becoming quite limited activities for me as i just tend to get so bored of doing it once i start... i feel so fuckin picky!

I think i'd be a lot less finicky if i could maybe just smoke a bit of pot once a week or do some kind of drug once in a while. But, knowing myself, once a week will turn into once a day, then once in the morning and once before i goto bed, and so on. So i guess i just need to keep it together a bit longer til i find a hobby i can enjoy without drugs.

On the flip-side, i might be getting a labor-intensive job once i move back to Texas in two weeks. It pays for shit, but maybe it'll keep me busy (and too tired) enough to not look for drugs.

I appreciate everyones thoughts and ideas, i hope to hear more from you all, and i'll let you guys know if my abstinence (god i hate that word) from drug (mis)use persists or not.

Peace.
 
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I hear you Cface. I've spent the majority of this new year sober, smoking bud only a handful of times(I can count them on 1 hand), having a few lines of coke and 3 trips(2 lsd, 1 aMT). I've had to stop using all drugs that are in the standard US drug test, so while I'm still able to use psychedelics I'm not able to use my drugs of choice, cannabis and ketamine. 1 due to to tests(cannabis) and the other due to no $(ketamine).
Boredom is the biggest problem for sure. Luckily it's gotten warmer this week so I've been spending the past days playing a few hours of basketball everyday. I also workout everyday, this can be a great way to get a sort of "natural high".
As Cyrus said, try to get back into things you used to enjoyed before you ever got into drugs, for me this was sports. I used to play basketball, football(american), and baseball. Video games is an ok idea but it dosen't really help you in the long run. Sure they're fun and everything, but at least with sports/excersize you're improving your body. I find my mood goes way up too when I'm in a regular workout routine.
Sorry for the long post I know I'm rambling, and I know my situation isn't exactly like yours though, since I didn't have the kind of habits you did, and since as I said I am able to still use some substances, but I hope I helped. Hang in there man you can do it :D

edit - sorry I should've read all the replies I see you already mentioned excersize.
 
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its a tough one. Almost everything is better high until you start fucking up. Unfortunately, getting high makes a person fuck up a lot.
 
First, congrats on getting clean-- esp for getting off benzos.

I'm not sure how well it would work staying at a home that is not your own, but cleaning works wonders for me. Perhaps it's the staying physically active thing paired with instant gratification, but on day 4-7 of wd when cravings hit really hard I grab an old toothbrush and hit the bathroom tiles. My rule is that every time I notice something that needs to be cleaned, I can't walk by without doing at least a little (even if it's washing one dish) to tidy up.

Sounds retarded but it works. Being OCD about cleanliness is easier to cope with than the monotonous boredom of sobriety.
 
>>It's almost like I am unable to have a normal life without some type of endorphin or dopamine releasing activity.>>

Well...Having a 'normal life' might be the ability to manage dopamine release by altering one's activities, perceptions, and mindset rather than introducing 'exogenous agents' to manage neurochemistry. . .

ebola
 
ebola? said:
>>It's almost like I am unable to have a normal life without some type of endorphin or dopamine releasing activity.>>

Well...Having a 'normal life' might be the ability to manage dopamine release by altering one's activities, perceptions, and mindset rather than introducing 'exogenous agents' to manage neurochemistry. . .

ebola
Click to expand...

Give me some examples of 'activities'
 
exercise
sex
receiving recognition of success by peers that you give a shit about.
attaining long term goals important to you
listening to a song you love
becoming enthralled with an idea

And so on.
 
ebola? said:
sex
Click to expand...

yes
ebola? said:
exercise
Click to expand...

Haha did you read how I said I replace the high from doing drugs with that of working out?(endorphin release)

The rest of those are not "extreme" type of activities. Don't know if you're really understanding what I mean by adrenaline(rush) junkie. Things that may satisfy your needs in life don't do the same for me; that's all I mean. Yes, the other 3 or 4 things mean something to me, but just don't completely do it:\
 
I was actually speaking about the role of pleasure mediated by dopaminergic reward in general...not just the adrenalin junkie mindset. Experimental research has shown that most 'reinforcing' activities (activities with result that compel the subject to more often engage in such activities) cause dopaminergic release...not always on par with sex, etc., but enough to guide our behavior and our assessment of our situation.

ebola
 
sunshine helps

so does drinking plenty of water

and eating good amounts of protein

and sleeping good hours

this will supply your body with the things it needs to get stronger
 
ebola? said:
I was actually speaking about the role of pleasure mediated by dopaminergic reward in general...not just the adrenalin junkie mindset. Experimental research has shown that most 'reinforcing' activities (activities with result that compel the subject to more often engage in such activities) cause dopaminergic release...not always on par with sex, etc., but enough to guide our behavior and our assessment of our situation.

ebola
Click to expand...
by the way, this view of 'reward' is becoming outdated. The wanting is mediated by dopaminergic pathways (in the mesotelecephalic system).
 
by the way, this view of 'reward' is becoming outdated. The wanting is mediated by dopaminergic pathways (in the mesotelecephalic system).
Click to expand...

You are correct in that dopamine is more closely linked with seeking reward than attaining it. However, the pleasure and positive tilt of how we evaluate our situation, others, and ourselves is anchored to a large extent in that pursuit ("anticipation is half the fun"). And actual reward-attainment does induce release of dopamine too.

I am no claiming that dopamine-release == pleasure, but it's a large part of it. I am also pretty ignorant of the neurochemistry of satisfaction.

ebola
 
how do you deal with sobriety?

with great difficulty!

The more time you spend not doing any drugs the easier it will be to not do them.
The longer you stay sober the easier it is to stay sober.

Like everyone says you need to keep busy and find things that interest you and get you naturally high. Yes they really never compare to the drug highs but the comedowns are allot easier to deal with cause there aint any.

You listed quite a drug regime. Like most adddicts if you start up again you will just end up worse than before again shortly.

Good luck
 
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